Monday, July 21, 2008
so long
well i have desided that no one ever really goes on my blogg so i am just going to not be on here any more. i am very busy. with cheer, dance, writing, crisises! so ta ta!
Monday, June 30, 2008
yea i need help!
ok so i am new to this whole blogging thing and let me just say i am so confused!!! i don't know how to join groups i don't know how to have team members and yada yada! i don't get that whole blogger buzz thing! nor do i know how to post up music. so if u could help answer or explain these things to me that would be great!
Sorry!
the post times r wrong so it says i posted them at a certain time but they our a few hours off. don't be afraid to comment my poems at the bottom of my short story. i know u may feel kind of lazy to read it but it doesn't take that long. if u want to kow wat it's about, it's about a girl who lives next door to this other girl. she is looking through the window and notices the firl is being abused. the girl who saw the other girl gettin abused is pretty popular but sweet. and tries to befriend the girl. any who it's a long struggle and i haven't finished but it is getting there. like i said i have poems past this story that i would love ppl to comment or challenge me to make a different or better poem. u can comment me or email me for feedback.
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: ) with Luv Kayla Hammer!
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: ) with Luv Kayla Hammer!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Mk yea i don't really know wat to call this so give comment me for any ideas : )
ok this is not a poem but a story i don't know if u want to read it but it is good. In fact I haven't finished it yet but when i do i will post it up here. I origanally wrote this for PTA Refelections contest but i went over the number of words requirement. so yea. later i will finish the ending but for know I give u Through My Window! By:Me A.K.A. Kayla Hammer. (i don't really like the title. HELP!)
Through My Window
I stood there looking through my window, watching it all happen. But as usual, I didn’t know what to do. I was watching my neighbor take the raft of her father one fist after the other. I was really worried. Would her he kill her? After a couple hits, it stopped. I wanted to cry but like I said I didn’t know what to do. I expected her to cry but she did not. Has this happened to her before? Why wasn’t she crying? I graced my fingers around the window feeling the chipped paint on it. God I just wanted to take her away from there. Her father left, and what I thought was hours later to find out were minutes. She stood up and re-gained balance. The expression on her face was plain, but her eyes were cold and miserable. I’ve seen her in my school and some of my friends know her. Somehow I could tell she’d been fighting for a long time.
I walked away from the window feeling like a coward and got ready for school. It felt colder than it was usual. Probably because of what happened. I threw on my new Hollister cloths (they were cute), and checked my new messages on my cell phone. Excited to see that Breezy texted me telling about what Steve said about me and went on to the bus stop like nothing happened. I was ten minutes early which was really weird for me. I was playing with my cell phone until I heard feet brushing against the fallen leaves. It was her.
I could barely see her in the morning with all her hair in her face, but she was kind of pretty. Her hair was dark and silky. She was slim and dark skinned. Her eyeliner was smudged, and she was wearing a grey sweater with her hair back into a pony tail. She was walking so clumsy it looked like she was drunk. I smiled at her trying to make her feel good. But she wasn’t looking at me. She reached the stop. “Hey, it’s been a couple weeks into school and I still don’t know your name” I said. She looked up at me “Your name?” I repeated. “Michelle” she muttered. “Cool, mines Tara” I tried saying happy. I heard the bus from up the street. I knew instantly I’d have to run to the back of the buss and sit with Seth, Claire, and Breezy. I need to say something to her, just something. I kept smiling at her I think she thought I was weird. Great, just what I need, for her not to trust me because she thinks I’m a freak. The bus came to a loud screech just behind the crooked stop sign. The door opened letting out a roar of noise from the bus. I quickly stepped aboard. I tried looking behind me to see where she was on the bus but I must have lost her in the crowd of noisy kids. I hastily went to the back where my reserved seat sat waiting for me.
School was different for me today. Usually I’m happy and am very social, but today was different. It was like I could see everyone’s problems. That chubby girl who never talks in my science class, she’s shy obviously. But today I’d decided to break that little barrier. I walked up to the front of the class room. She was reading. “Hey” I said smiling. She slowly looked up smiling. “So, I like reading too. Is that a good book? Who’s it by? Where’d you get?” I rambled. She looked like she was going to laugh. “It’s The Uglies, and yeah I’m half way through and it’s really good. It’s by Scott Westerfeld, and I got it at the Library.” She belted it out so fast. For once she actually had a pleasant expression on her face. “Okay, thanks for the tip. Ketcha around, k?” she stared at me amazed. I walked to the back of the class room where Katy and I finished our homework. But Michelle was still on my mind.
The day soon ended. I felt a new sense in me. Like; I cared enough to do something about it. Don’t get me wrong I’m a nice person, but still, you know, I just never really did much in life for others because I felt there was no need. I decided to take the long way home instead of the bus. This was forbidden for me, because that meant walking through the bad part of the city. As you can tell, my parents didn’t approve. But I didn’t care. I took a deep breath of that smoky, gassy, dense air and smiled. I like the city and everything about it. Someday I was going to live there. I walked for about five minutes and I was passing in between an old church and a sowing shop. I heard crying from behind a tin trash can. I stopped, trying to stand on the tips of my toes and lengthening my neck to see what may be around the trash can. I slowly stepped around the edge of the trash can. An old black woman with gray hair sat with her face in her hands. The women didn’t even notice me. Her clothes were dark and seemed very out dated. I reached my hand and put it on her large shoulders. She jolted in shock. I was frightened to, yet oh so curious to the mess in front of me. “Excuse me miss but you look so upset and I wouldn’t like to trouble you, but it could help to tell about it.” I bent down to her level. Honestly I was thinking I’d get a lecture, but she quickly wiped away her tears and smiled. “It is so good to see dat such ah young lady being kind to ahn old folk like meh.” She had a strong Jamaican accent. I helped her out. “Hey well it’s no biggy. Why don’t we go sit on the bench and we can talk about” I replied. The old lady nodded her head and we walked towards the rusty bench.
“Et seems so terrible. You know. When you geave ya world to your daughter and the next she’s pregnate and want nodin to do wid ya.” She sniffled more. “I just don know wat da do” she sighed. Once again this would be a situation in which I would not have a clue of what to say. But like I said, today was different. I paused for a brief second and the just seemed to come right out. “Maybe, you should give her time, give her space. Tell her what ever misery she has it is her own fault and yours. Even if it wasn’t” I was on a roll. “Tell her it was a screw up but it’s how you deal with them that count. And by shutting her only life support. Which would be you could really just add to the problem, because family is thinker than water. And it takes a whole lot to keep it together.” I felt good saying that because it sounded so insightful. And I guessed it was because the women’s frown became a smile. She stared at me and started to giggle. “How cahn a young lady beh so smart” she questioned. I giggled to. I put my hand in my pocket. I felt a whole lot of cash and change. “Here” I said extending the three dollars to her. The women looked at my funny and slightly titled her body back. “Don’t deny it, it’s only three bucks. Use it to get a ride on the bus home.” She put her hand to her heart and grinned. Slowly the women took the money. “Dank you, Dank so much” she went down the street. Half way down she looked back at me and waved. I returned with a smile.
I grabbed my books and headed up the street. My books were a little heavy; I guess that didn’t really matter though. All I can remember was “man that felt good”. Walking was so different from usual. Great I am a freak. But I didn’t care I like this new me. I walked on the side walk, watching the cars and taxies go by. I could hear commotion from the inner part of the city. I could smell hotdogs cooking too. And the leaves danced in the wind around my feet. Then, I heard jingles. I turned the corner to find a scruffy old man. Tattered and worn. He had a blue coat on and black pants that looked like they needed to be replaced years ago. He didn’t look up at me, didn’t do anything. Just jiggled a rusty cup. There must have been change in it. I stood in front of him puzzled. Then I remembered. I reached into my pocket again and felt left over change. I hesitated before dropping the change in the tin. “Good day sir” I mumbled, I quickly dropped the change and scurried on to my neighborhood.
I finally got home and insisted I was too tired for anything. My parents nodded their heads and said I should get some rest. And that’s what I did. I threw my heavy books on the floor along with my jacket and sprinted up stairs. I went back to the window. I scanned the neighbor’s house trying to get a glimpse of Michelle or her father. I saw nothing. I relaxed and slowly backed away from the window and eased myself to my bedroom. I had a weird day today. Yet, somehow I knew that it wouldn’t end here. I was meant to help Michelle. I could tell. It would just take longer than it did with the people I already helped today. My bedroom had dark purple walls. And a high sealing painted light blue. My bed had a metallic dark purple bed spread. With pillows that were pink, lime green, and orange. I had a blue shelf where my old books were stacked along with a T.V. And a lime green canopy dangled above my bed. I loved my room, it was my safe haven. We just re-did it and if I do say so myself, it’s amazing. Breezy likes it too. So if my best friend can easily approve than so can I. I wonder though if Michelle has a nice room. Or even nice things. My friends say that she’s scary quiet. They try to get her to talk and she just won’t. Well, that’s all going to change starting tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning doing my usual routine. Straightening hair, brushing teeth, applying makeup, eat a PB&J for breakfast, dress my cloths, and do my homework I don’t do at night. But I just wanted to look. I craved to go to the window. I needed to see. So I slowly crept up stairs like as if they could hear me in the other house. Once I reached the hallway, I hurried to the window. And oh behold, through the neighbor’s window I could see her. Michelle was in the living room, crying on the wooden floor. She was shaking all over. I clutched the wood so hard trying to fight back a scream in me. I wanted to tell her I’m here to help. What snapped me back to reality was the voice of my parents downstairs. I realized I had little time to get to the bus stop so my parents were taking me. I didn’t see Michelle at school. It frightened me a lot. I asked friends if they’ve seen her. They all said the same thing. “Why does it matter?” God I just want to kill myself. Doesn’t anyone have a clue?! I daydreamed about what he’d done to her and if she was alright. It only made me want to crawl in as hole and die. “Don’t jump to conclusions” I thought. “She could be just sick and everything will be fine tomorrow”. I hope I was right.
I took the long way home again. My books felt heavier than yesterday. As I walked between the old church and sowing shop, I looked for the old women. Of course she wasn’t there. What was I thinking? I kept walking surprisingly it was busy. There were joggers, walkers, business men and women walking and talking on their cell phones, thuggish looking people, and whole lot of drunken people. I turned around the corner. There in the same spot as yesterday, was the poor old scruffy man. He was sleeping on some news papers. I saw the tin by his head. I reached in my pocket and there was two dollars. I really wanted a coke so I gave him a dollar. I looked down on him felling so useless because what could a dollar do. I sighed, and paused. I gently put my other dollar in the tin can. I walked feeling like a good person who never really gets a whole lot in return. But the deed had been done and I hoped he could go to McDonalds and get a double cheese burger. I returned to my neighborhood that was colored with pretty leaves. I actually forgot about Michelle for a little bit. I sat in front of the T.V. and watched some re-runs of America’s Next Top Model. It felt good to unwind. My parents weren’t home still. So I ran up stairs to take an early shower. I got to the hallway. And there was the window. That old ugly window. But through that window was Michelle. I couldn’t help myself. I hastily ran to the window. I stared at the window hoping that it would show that Michelle was okay. I looked into the living room of the neighbor’s. It was empty. Where were they? I backed up from the window. I had to just forget about this whole thing. It wasn’t my problem, right? I went to the shower to wash my problems away to try to forget about Michelle. Then I dressed for bed and went downstairs to wait for my parents.
The next morning same old routine continued. I ran to the bus stop not paying attention to anything. When the bus arrived with an awful screech I ran to the back of the bus where Seth, Claire, and Breezy were. Once I reached my seat I threw my books on the floor and sat by Breezy without a word. Claire and Seth were having a conversation on the football game and stopped to turn towards me. I could feel their eyes on me even though I was looking out the window. I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me jerk. “Whoa, Tara you okay? You haven’t even said a word about Steven, about the game or even on my NEW HAIR” she seemed to get louder with every word and was pointing at her hair. It just had to make me laugh. “I really like the color. It looks natural on you. And those spirals are ultra sexy” I said trying to use my happy voice. I was glad to know that my friends cared about me. “Well, glad to see you’re back to yourself. You’ve been acting somewhat, out there. You know?” Claire said. I had to make them think everything was fine. Sooner or later I’d tell them and I would just explain that it’s all fine now and I’m sure the girls okay. “Well, I’m fine now. And I’m ready to go to Steve’s party this weekend too” I replied. They all seemed content with that answer and we all went back to our regular conversations.
School was almost too normal. No one really paid too much to me today. I decided that the only thing to keep me from going completely insane from boredom was to read. I chose a newer looking book on my second hour teacher’s shelf because newer books just appeal to me more. The book I chose had a green and black cover with a girl in sunglasses on it. Her hair was bizarre. It was titled Dread Locks. I figured it was worth the shot to try. It looked slightly thin. So it would be easy to finish. I returned to my desk feeling heavy and slow. With a sigh I fell in my chair. I looked at the clock a couple times I had thirty minutes before class ended and my projects are all finished. So I guess there’s nothing keeping me from doing this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to read… a book… for fun … to waste time…here we go.
Time has passed, I’m at home and I can’t put this book down. IT’S AMAZING. I would spoil the plot for you but I guess you’ll just have to read it. It’s a little confusing but as you go along it makes sense. The book is like what; Two hundred pages long? It’s really good for me to because it keeps my mind off of, you know what. Great! Now I remember everything! But then I also realized something else. Michelle’s been gone for a while and everything in her house seems to be turned on. But no one is home. This scares me even more. I put my book down and sat up straight. I needed fresh air. I went through the kitchen to the screen door that leads outside. Stumbling outside I took deep fresh breaths. My back yard was filled with leaves just like everyone else’s. With an old playhouse I used, like, six years ago. I made myself stay still and take in the brisk air. Then I heard something. It was coming from Michelle’s backyard. It sounded like grunting. I ran to the fence that separated us. I peeked over the chain linked fence. I saw Michelle on the ground crying. She suddenly noticed me. “Please, don’t bother me.” She tucked her head back in between her knees. I wasn’t leaving but still, I was in one of those “I don’t know what to do?” moments. She looked back up at me with an awful look on her. “You don’t think I’ve seen you looking in on my life. I’m sorry you had to see it. And I’m grateful that you haven’t told any of your gossipy friends. But you have to leave.” She shuttered trying to get one last word. “Please” she sighed. To hear her in that pain made me want to puke. I knew that there was no way in hell I was leaving her now. I tried looking casual so I could look like I was easy to talk to. “Well, Michelle, if it’s getting this bad you need to know I’m not just going to sit back here and just watch you. Do you even realize how dangerously he’s treating you?” We were now staring eye to eye. “Yeah, I know. But it’s not like you can just instantly pull yourself out of it. I was born with it you know? You must think I’m so innocent and stupid. I’m not! I’ve tried! Tried, tried, and tried!” she was red with tears. I had to keep the conversation going “Michelle do you mind me asking? Where were you?” She looked up slowly, towards the sky. “Somewhere better than here. I was at the hospital while my dad was drinking” she said. Michelle quickly wiped her tears away. The poor thing was shaking. I stared at her with tears rolling down my face. I tried getting out words. Then somehow without me really controlling it, “Michelle, I can save you” I whispered. She looked at me and shook her head. “No, no you can’t. Nobody could. Nobody will.” She said. A rush of confidence went through my body. “But I’m not just nobody” I said smiling. She smiled. “Hey, why don’t you come with me to Steven’s party?” I said. She looked at me confused. “Steven’s party?” she questioned. I nodded.
We were both silent for a while. I finally broke the silence with “So, what do you think your dad will think?” She chuckled. “He probably won’t care at first then later will have a freaking fit just because he feels like it”. God what has this girl been put through?! I bet that hell hole just keeps dragging her in deeper and deeper. I figure that if she wasn’t in the position she was in she’d be a popular, happy, go-get-em’- chic. Michelle looked at me with an anticipated look on her. “Jesus, what will I ware?!” This made me so happy I told her to come through the gate and we’ll sneak in some of outfits in my room. When we both ran up stairs into my room Michelle stopped in awe. I was pretty proud of my room too, but still I’ve never seen a person so appreciated before. It made me feel responsible for her. You know, to show her more out there and get her feet out of the sand. I popped in a CD I had made in my CD player. It had songs by Fergie, FooFighters, Coldplay, My Chemical Romance, and Alicia Key’s! I swung my closet open and we were jamming. I had shirts from Hollister, Abercrombie, and Pac Sun. I had a cute black studded shirt from AmericanEagle that would look so good with her. I explained to her that to be sweet and shy was fine, but let loose and stick with me. I discussed hair with her, that hers would look really cute with spiral curls. I told her that I was straightening mine and curling the ends. The whole time we talked she had a smile on her face. Man I love being the center of attention at a party yet, I thought that this time it’s Michelle’s time to shine. And this party was a pretty big deal. Later I made popcorn and we watched the show Hero’s. The afternoon ran late and Michelle suddenly turned pale. “I’m sorry I’ve got to get home. Hopefully he isn’t home”. She ran out the door with her head down. Then, she stopped and turned herself around. “Thanks Tara. You know for all this. I’ll see you Monday”. And with that she shut the door.
My feelings were mixed at this point. I was glad to see a really cool side of her, but sad of the actual reality of the situation. I was getting closer to saving her. Once again I knew it would take time. Steven’s party was in a day and I needed to tell my best friend about the situation. It was time for her to know. I picked up my cell phone and forward a very long text message to her. I sat the phone down on my bed and began pacing in my room. I knew Breezy was home and she always had her cell phone. My phone beeped and I ran to it to pick it up. “Hey, Breezy did you get my message” I questioned. I heard a long sigh on the phone. “Yeah babe I got it. Just how’d you get yourself into this mess” she asked. “I don’t know” I replied. “It just happened. So my plan is have my parents pick us all up even Michelle” I quickly stated. There was a pause between us. “I don’t know Tara, this is ganna be weird” she said. “I’m not asking for your permission Breezy. I have to. Come on, have a heart. Besides Michelle’s really cool once you start talking to her” I again quickly stated. This time Breezy’s mood changed to excited too. “Whoa, hold up now no need for attitude. I’m not worried about how she’ll act around me. I’m easy to get along with, it’s other people that you should be concerned with” she said. I felt a little bad for giving her attitude. “I’m sorry for the whole attitude. I didn’t mean it. I’m sure she’ll be fine. I went over stuff with her on you know, how to kind of act because she’s not that social”. And again a long pause between us. “Alright chick I’ll see you tomorrow and this girl. I got to go take a shower. Later” she said. “Bye” I replied. I didn’t press the end button until I was sure that she hung up. Then I threw my phone on my bed and relaxed. I know it may seem like I’m lazy and do no sports and that’s not true. I was a cheerleader last year and decided this year to do volleyball. You see, I’m like one of those I can do anything girls. It’s a weird system I have but it proves me. I may do cheerleading again next year. And this year I plan to try out for basketball. I also on Monday afternoons, Thursday nights, and Sunday afternoons I go to Taekwondo classes for an hour. I also do my homework at school so I have a whole lot of time on my hands.
If you couldn’t already tell I’m really into Steve. I hope he sees that at his party because of what I hear he likes me but doesn’t think I like him. Odd thing we’ve got going on. I just pray to God that Michelle can fit in with my group of friends. She actually seems like the girl that you’d want to be friends with. Well I guess it’s time for bed. As I close my eyes I remember the window. I rush out of my room to the hallway and I ran straight to the window. I looked down to see Michelle looking gloomy again in the living room. I lightly tapped on the window in fear of her father. She noticed me and smiled. And ran to her window and it looked like she was trying to open it. I tried opening mine at the same time I was looking at her and she already had hers open. I kept trying to open mine. She was laughing the whole time. Finally, I got mine open and I relaxed on it. She cocked her head and smiled. “So you really think people will accept me at his party” she asked. “Of course they will! Just remember, tomorrow come over and we’ll do our hair and makeup” I said excitedly. She nodded. I can’t remember too much after that, only that we must have talked for an hour about girl stuff. Then our conversation was broken when headlights from a car flashed passed us and into the drive way of Michelle’s. We locked eyes. “Got to go hide” she said. Without really thinking I said “Jump through the window and come over to my house” I said. She stared at me. “Come on hurry. Is he drunk” I asked. “Yes don’t worry” she replied. Michelle quickly hopped trough to window and ran to the edge of her house. We were both watching as her dad rambled on about stuff and slopped to the door. Once he opened it she ran to my door. I quickly pried myself from my window and ran down stairs. She was knocking on the door really hard. I raced to the door and threw it open. She was instantly beside me, our backs against the door. We were both breathing heavy. Michelle looked at me and we both started laughing.
My parents returned home late and I explained that Michelle’s dad was drunk and she was a little scared to be there and I asked if it was alright if she could stay the night. My parents are kind people and are very social and so they agreed. I told them that she could borrow extra stuff from me. After handing her an extra tooth brush, my traveling tooth paste, a brush, my cute Hollister pants, and a tank, she went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. It was about ten o’clock and even though it wasn’t a school night we were both ready to crash. She slept in my bed and I slept on the floor. There really wasn’t much to say to each other. It was probably midnight when I woke up to realize she was awake too. Michelle sat up straight while I leaned on my side facing her. “What are we going to do Michelle” I asked. She replied with “We?” and looked at my puzzled. “Well, yeah! We are now in this both and I have to tell you as a new friend that maybe it’s time you told someone. Particularly a counselor” I tried sounding confident. “You have a point but I still don’t see how this is going to help. Trust me I’ve lived with him forever. It’s harder than it looks” she said. “No trust me. I may be someone from the outside world, but from the outside there are people who you can trust and help. Yes it will take some work with some social workers but soon you’ll have a better life.” She smiled as if trying to sink that picture in. I knew that she really wasn’t listening though. “In time” she said. She fell back to a light sleep. After I was sure she was asleep, I relaxed and went to sleep too.I dreamt that night. It was Michelle and I. We were by a cliff. I was at least ten feet away from her. She spreading her arms towards the sky and was inches away from the edge. She seemed happy. I tried yelling for her but nothing came out. I put my arm out to her. She turned her head towards me and rolled her eyes. I could tell she was giggling at me. I didn’t understand. She spread out her arms again and took in a deep breath. Then, she fell. I screamed this time I could hear it. I ran to the edge hoping I could save her. What I saw next amazed me. She was gone. No body on the ground, nothing. I looked up a little confused to see her flying! I was in shock I couldn’t move, stop her, or speak. She just kept flying towards the sun. It left me breathless. I know what I was doing was making a difference, but in the end all that could really change things is if Michelle did something. I really wanted to save her. I just can’t give in to the push she gives me.
The next morning we woke at the same time thanks to my parent’s alarm. When we got down stairs my parents were making pancakes, orange cinnamon rolls, and eggs. They only do this for me when I have a sleep over or when it’s my birthday. I thanked them with a sneaky smile. They just kept cooking. I looked at Michelle. She had the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen. We sat at in the chairs wedged between the counter tops. We both were excited. My mom looking very excited herself sat down plates with huge portions of everything. Then, my dad plopped down two glasses of milk in front of us. Oh, it was delicious. Since the party started early at eleven o’clock and ended at three o’clock, we ate pretty fast so we could both prep for hours. When we were both done we put our dishes in the sink and thanked my parents. Then Michelle and I both ran up stairs with our bellies stuffed. I wondered how we’d look in our cloths after eating so much. We were neck to neck running up the stairs. Nose to nose. Michelle now in the lead turning the right corner and dashing to my room. But I stopped. There again in front of me was the window. I sparked a thought. Maybe he’s there in the living room. Maybe he knows she’s here. Could he get her? I walked slowly towards the window but was distracted by Michelle who popped in the hallway saying “I think I should straighten my hair and out bronzer on. What do you think?” I turned a little stunned. “Yeah whatever you want. Hey help me get ready” I said. We prepared for at least two hours. I was wearing a low-v metallic tank, dark jeans, and a sliver necklace with huge beads. She was wearing a black top with silver studs, and dark jeans. We both looked stunning. We were interrupted by my mother “Sweetie com downstairs we’ll be late”. So we raced down the stairs all excited. But I couldn’t push the feeling from me that something bad was going to happen.
Michelle my mom and I all got in the car. As she started the car I saw Michelle’s face drop. I knew she was having second thoughts. “Well were both taking a plunge buddy” I thought to myself.
Through My Window ©2008 Kayla Hammer's Blog
Through My Window
I stood there looking through my window, watching it all happen. But as usual, I didn’t know what to do. I was watching my neighbor take the raft of her father one fist after the other. I was really worried. Would her he kill her? After a couple hits, it stopped. I wanted to cry but like I said I didn’t know what to do. I expected her to cry but she did not. Has this happened to her before? Why wasn’t she crying? I graced my fingers around the window feeling the chipped paint on it. God I just wanted to take her away from there. Her father left, and what I thought was hours later to find out were minutes. She stood up and re-gained balance. The expression on her face was plain, but her eyes were cold and miserable. I’ve seen her in my school and some of my friends know her. Somehow I could tell she’d been fighting for a long time.
I walked away from the window feeling like a coward and got ready for school. It felt colder than it was usual. Probably because of what happened. I threw on my new Hollister cloths (they were cute), and checked my new messages on my cell phone. Excited to see that Breezy texted me telling about what Steve said about me and went on to the bus stop like nothing happened. I was ten minutes early which was really weird for me. I was playing with my cell phone until I heard feet brushing against the fallen leaves. It was her.
I could barely see her in the morning with all her hair in her face, but she was kind of pretty. Her hair was dark and silky. She was slim and dark skinned. Her eyeliner was smudged, and she was wearing a grey sweater with her hair back into a pony tail. She was walking so clumsy it looked like she was drunk. I smiled at her trying to make her feel good. But she wasn’t looking at me. She reached the stop. “Hey, it’s been a couple weeks into school and I still don’t know your name” I said. She looked up at me “Your name?” I repeated. “Michelle” she muttered. “Cool, mines Tara” I tried saying happy. I heard the bus from up the street. I knew instantly I’d have to run to the back of the buss and sit with Seth, Claire, and Breezy. I need to say something to her, just something. I kept smiling at her I think she thought I was weird. Great, just what I need, for her not to trust me because she thinks I’m a freak. The bus came to a loud screech just behind the crooked stop sign. The door opened letting out a roar of noise from the bus. I quickly stepped aboard. I tried looking behind me to see where she was on the bus but I must have lost her in the crowd of noisy kids. I hastily went to the back where my reserved seat sat waiting for me.
School was different for me today. Usually I’m happy and am very social, but today was different. It was like I could see everyone’s problems. That chubby girl who never talks in my science class, she’s shy obviously. But today I’d decided to break that little barrier. I walked up to the front of the class room. She was reading. “Hey” I said smiling. She slowly looked up smiling. “So, I like reading too. Is that a good book? Who’s it by? Where’d you get?” I rambled. She looked like she was going to laugh. “It’s The Uglies, and yeah I’m half way through and it’s really good. It’s by Scott Westerfeld, and I got it at the Library.” She belted it out so fast. For once she actually had a pleasant expression on her face. “Okay, thanks for the tip. Ketcha around, k?” she stared at me amazed. I walked to the back of the class room where Katy and I finished our homework. But Michelle was still on my mind.
The day soon ended. I felt a new sense in me. Like; I cared enough to do something about it. Don’t get me wrong I’m a nice person, but still, you know, I just never really did much in life for others because I felt there was no need. I decided to take the long way home instead of the bus. This was forbidden for me, because that meant walking through the bad part of the city. As you can tell, my parents didn’t approve. But I didn’t care. I took a deep breath of that smoky, gassy, dense air and smiled. I like the city and everything about it. Someday I was going to live there. I walked for about five minutes and I was passing in between an old church and a sowing shop. I heard crying from behind a tin trash can. I stopped, trying to stand on the tips of my toes and lengthening my neck to see what may be around the trash can. I slowly stepped around the edge of the trash can. An old black woman with gray hair sat with her face in her hands. The women didn’t even notice me. Her clothes were dark and seemed very out dated. I reached my hand and put it on her large shoulders. She jolted in shock. I was frightened to, yet oh so curious to the mess in front of me. “Excuse me miss but you look so upset and I wouldn’t like to trouble you, but it could help to tell about it.” I bent down to her level. Honestly I was thinking I’d get a lecture, but she quickly wiped away her tears and smiled. “It is so good to see dat such ah young lady being kind to ahn old folk like meh.” She had a strong Jamaican accent. I helped her out. “Hey well it’s no biggy. Why don’t we go sit on the bench and we can talk about” I replied. The old lady nodded her head and we walked towards the rusty bench.
“Et seems so terrible. You know. When you geave ya world to your daughter and the next she’s pregnate and want nodin to do wid ya.” She sniffled more. “I just don know wat da do” she sighed. Once again this would be a situation in which I would not have a clue of what to say. But like I said, today was different. I paused for a brief second and the just seemed to come right out. “Maybe, you should give her time, give her space. Tell her what ever misery she has it is her own fault and yours. Even if it wasn’t” I was on a roll. “Tell her it was a screw up but it’s how you deal with them that count. And by shutting her only life support. Which would be you could really just add to the problem, because family is thinker than water. And it takes a whole lot to keep it together.” I felt good saying that because it sounded so insightful. And I guessed it was because the women’s frown became a smile. She stared at me and started to giggle. “How cahn a young lady beh so smart” she questioned. I giggled to. I put my hand in my pocket. I felt a whole lot of cash and change. “Here” I said extending the three dollars to her. The women looked at my funny and slightly titled her body back. “Don’t deny it, it’s only three bucks. Use it to get a ride on the bus home.” She put her hand to her heart and grinned. Slowly the women took the money. “Dank you, Dank so much” she went down the street. Half way down she looked back at me and waved. I returned with a smile.
I grabbed my books and headed up the street. My books were a little heavy; I guess that didn’t really matter though. All I can remember was “man that felt good”. Walking was so different from usual. Great I am a freak. But I didn’t care I like this new me. I walked on the side walk, watching the cars and taxies go by. I could hear commotion from the inner part of the city. I could smell hotdogs cooking too. And the leaves danced in the wind around my feet. Then, I heard jingles. I turned the corner to find a scruffy old man. Tattered and worn. He had a blue coat on and black pants that looked like they needed to be replaced years ago. He didn’t look up at me, didn’t do anything. Just jiggled a rusty cup. There must have been change in it. I stood in front of him puzzled. Then I remembered. I reached into my pocket again and felt left over change. I hesitated before dropping the change in the tin. “Good day sir” I mumbled, I quickly dropped the change and scurried on to my neighborhood.
I finally got home and insisted I was too tired for anything. My parents nodded their heads and said I should get some rest. And that’s what I did. I threw my heavy books on the floor along with my jacket and sprinted up stairs. I went back to the window. I scanned the neighbor’s house trying to get a glimpse of Michelle or her father. I saw nothing. I relaxed and slowly backed away from the window and eased myself to my bedroom. I had a weird day today. Yet, somehow I knew that it wouldn’t end here. I was meant to help Michelle. I could tell. It would just take longer than it did with the people I already helped today. My bedroom had dark purple walls. And a high sealing painted light blue. My bed had a metallic dark purple bed spread. With pillows that were pink, lime green, and orange. I had a blue shelf where my old books were stacked along with a T.V. And a lime green canopy dangled above my bed. I loved my room, it was my safe haven. We just re-did it and if I do say so myself, it’s amazing. Breezy likes it too. So if my best friend can easily approve than so can I. I wonder though if Michelle has a nice room. Or even nice things. My friends say that she’s scary quiet. They try to get her to talk and she just won’t. Well, that’s all going to change starting tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning doing my usual routine. Straightening hair, brushing teeth, applying makeup, eat a PB&J for breakfast, dress my cloths, and do my homework I don’t do at night. But I just wanted to look. I craved to go to the window. I needed to see. So I slowly crept up stairs like as if they could hear me in the other house. Once I reached the hallway, I hurried to the window. And oh behold, through the neighbor’s window I could see her. Michelle was in the living room, crying on the wooden floor. She was shaking all over. I clutched the wood so hard trying to fight back a scream in me. I wanted to tell her I’m here to help. What snapped me back to reality was the voice of my parents downstairs. I realized I had little time to get to the bus stop so my parents were taking me. I didn’t see Michelle at school. It frightened me a lot. I asked friends if they’ve seen her. They all said the same thing. “Why does it matter?” God I just want to kill myself. Doesn’t anyone have a clue?! I daydreamed about what he’d done to her and if she was alright. It only made me want to crawl in as hole and die. “Don’t jump to conclusions” I thought. “She could be just sick and everything will be fine tomorrow”. I hope I was right.
I took the long way home again. My books felt heavier than yesterday. As I walked between the old church and sowing shop, I looked for the old women. Of course she wasn’t there. What was I thinking? I kept walking surprisingly it was busy. There were joggers, walkers, business men and women walking and talking on their cell phones, thuggish looking people, and whole lot of drunken people. I turned around the corner. There in the same spot as yesterday, was the poor old scruffy man. He was sleeping on some news papers. I saw the tin by his head. I reached in my pocket and there was two dollars. I really wanted a coke so I gave him a dollar. I looked down on him felling so useless because what could a dollar do. I sighed, and paused. I gently put my other dollar in the tin can. I walked feeling like a good person who never really gets a whole lot in return. But the deed had been done and I hoped he could go to McDonalds and get a double cheese burger. I returned to my neighborhood that was colored with pretty leaves. I actually forgot about Michelle for a little bit. I sat in front of the T.V. and watched some re-runs of America’s Next Top Model. It felt good to unwind. My parents weren’t home still. So I ran up stairs to take an early shower. I got to the hallway. And there was the window. That old ugly window. But through that window was Michelle. I couldn’t help myself. I hastily ran to the window. I stared at the window hoping that it would show that Michelle was okay. I looked into the living room of the neighbor’s. It was empty. Where were they? I backed up from the window. I had to just forget about this whole thing. It wasn’t my problem, right? I went to the shower to wash my problems away to try to forget about Michelle. Then I dressed for bed and went downstairs to wait for my parents.
The next morning same old routine continued. I ran to the bus stop not paying attention to anything. When the bus arrived with an awful screech I ran to the back of the bus where Seth, Claire, and Breezy were. Once I reached my seat I threw my books on the floor and sat by Breezy without a word. Claire and Seth were having a conversation on the football game and stopped to turn towards me. I could feel their eyes on me even though I was looking out the window. I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me jerk. “Whoa, Tara you okay? You haven’t even said a word about Steven, about the game or even on my NEW HAIR” she seemed to get louder with every word and was pointing at her hair. It just had to make me laugh. “I really like the color. It looks natural on you. And those spirals are ultra sexy” I said trying to use my happy voice. I was glad to know that my friends cared about me. “Well, glad to see you’re back to yourself. You’ve been acting somewhat, out there. You know?” Claire said. I had to make them think everything was fine. Sooner or later I’d tell them and I would just explain that it’s all fine now and I’m sure the girls okay. “Well, I’m fine now. And I’m ready to go to Steve’s party this weekend too” I replied. They all seemed content with that answer and we all went back to our regular conversations.
School was almost too normal. No one really paid too much to me today. I decided that the only thing to keep me from going completely insane from boredom was to read. I chose a newer looking book on my second hour teacher’s shelf because newer books just appeal to me more. The book I chose had a green and black cover with a girl in sunglasses on it. Her hair was bizarre. It was titled Dread Locks. I figured it was worth the shot to try. It looked slightly thin. So it would be easy to finish. I returned to my desk feeling heavy and slow. With a sigh I fell in my chair. I looked at the clock a couple times I had thirty minutes before class ended and my projects are all finished. So I guess there’s nothing keeping me from doing this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to read… a book… for fun … to waste time…here we go.
Time has passed, I’m at home and I can’t put this book down. IT’S AMAZING. I would spoil the plot for you but I guess you’ll just have to read it. It’s a little confusing but as you go along it makes sense. The book is like what; Two hundred pages long? It’s really good for me to because it keeps my mind off of, you know what. Great! Now I remember everything! But then I also realized something else. Michelle’s been gone for a while and everything in her house seems to be turned on. But no one is home. This scares me even more. I put my book down and sat up straight. I needed fresh air. I went through the kitchen to the screen door that leads outside. Stumbling outside I took deep fresh breaths. My back yard was filled with leaves just like everyone else’s. With an old playhouse I used, like, six years ago. I made myself stay still and take in the brisk air. Then I heard something. It was coming from Michelle’s backyard. It sounded like grunting. I ran to the fence that separated us. I peeked over the chain linked fence. I saw Michelle on the ground crying. She suddenly noticed me. “Please, don’t bother me.” She tucked her head back in between her knees. I wasn’t leaving but still, I was in one of those “I don’t know what to do?” moments. She looked back up at me with an awful look on her. “You don’t think I’ve seen you looking in on my life. I’m sorry you had to see it. And I’m grateful that you haven’t told any of your gossipy friends. But you have to leave.” She shuttered trying to get one last word. “Please” she sighed. To hear her in that pain made me want to puke. I knew that there was no way in hell I was leaving her now. I tried looking casual so I could look like I was easy to talk to. “Well, Michelle, if it’s getting this bad you need to know I’m not just going to sit back here and just watch you. Do you even realize how dangerously he’s treating you?” We were now staring eye to eye. “Yeah, I know. But it’s not like you can just instantly pull yourself out of it. I was born with it you know? You must think I’m so innocent and stupid. I’m not! I’ve tried! Tried, tried, and tried!” she was red with tears. I had to keep the conversation going “Michelle do you mind me asking? Where were you?” She looked up slowly, towards the sky. “Somewhere better than here. I was at the hospital while my dad was drinking” she said. Michelle quickly wiped her tears away. The poor thing was shaking. I stared at her with tears rolling down my face. I tried getting out words. Then somehow without me really controlling it, “Michelle, I can save you” I whispered. She looked at me and shook her head. “No, no you can’t. Nobody could. Nobody will.” She said. A rush of confidence went through my body. “But I’m not just nobody” I said smiling. She smiled. “Hey, why don’t you come with me to Steven’s party?” I said. She looked at me confused. “Steven’s party?” she questioned. I nodded.
We were both silent for a while. I finally broke the silence with “So, what do you think your dad will think?” She chuckled. “He probably won’t care at first then later will have a freaking fit just because he feels like it”. God what has this girl been put through?! I bet that hell hole just keeps dragging her in deeper and deeper. I figure that if she wasn’t in the position she was in she’d be a popular, happy, go-get-em’- chic. Michelle looked at me with an anticipated look on her. “Jesus, what will I ware?!” This made me so happy I told her to come through the gate and we’ll sneak in some of outfits in my room. When we both ran up stairs into my room Michelle stopped in awe. I was pretty proud of my room too, but still I’ve never seen a person so appreciated before. It made me feel responsible for her. You know, to show her more out there and get her feet out of the sand. I popped in a CD I had made in my CD player. It had songs by Fergie, FooFighters, Coldplay, My Chemical Romance, and Alicia Key’s! I swung my closet open and we were jamming. I had shirts from Hollister, Abercrombie, and Pac Sun. I had a cute black studded shirt from AmericanEagle that would look so good with her. I explained to her that to be sweet and shy was fine, but let loose and stick with me. I discussed hair with her, that hers would look really cute with spiral curls. I told her that I was straightening mine and curling the ends. The whole time we talked she had a smile on her face. Man I love being the center of attention at a party yet, I thought that this time it’s Michelle’s time to shine. And this party was a pretty big deal. Later I made popcorn and we watched the show Hero’s. The afternoon ran late and Michelle suddenly turned pale. “I’m sorry I’ve got to get home. Hopefully he isn’t home”. She ran out the door with her head down. Then, she stopped and turned herself around. “Thanks Tara. You know for all this. I’ll see you Monday”. And with that she shut the door.
My feelings were mixed at this point. I was glad to see a really cool side of her, but sad of the actual reality of the situation. I was getting closer to saving her. Once again I knew it would take time. Steven’s party was in a day and I needed to tell my best friend about the situation. It was time for her to know. I picked up my cell phone and forward a very long text message to her. I sat the phone down on my bed and began pacing in my room. I knew Breezy was home and she always had her cell phone. My phone beeped and I ran to it to pick it up. “Hey, Breezy did you get my message” I questioned. I heard a long sigh on the phone. “Yeah babe I got it. Just how’d you get yourself into this mess” she asked. “I don’t know” I replied. “It just happened. So my plan is have my parents pick us all up even Michelle” I quickly stated. There was a pause between us. “I don’t know Tara, this is ganna be weird” she said. “I’m not asking for your permission Breezy. I have to. Come on, have a heart. Besides Michelle’s really cool once you start talking to her” I again quickly stated. This time Breezy’s mood changed to excited too. “Whoa, hold up now no need for attitude. I’m not worried about how she’ll act around me. I’m easy to get along with, it’s other people that you should be concerned with” she said. I felt a little bad for giving her attitude. “I’m sorry for the whole attitude. I didn’t mean it. I’m sure she’ll be fine. I went over stuff with her on you know, how to kind of act because she’s not that social”. And again a long pause between us. “Alright chick I’ll see you tomorrow and this girl. I got to go take a shower. Later” she said. “Bye” I replied. I didn’t press the end button until I was sure that she hung up. Then I threw my phone on my bed and relaxed. I know it may seem like I’m lazy and do no sports and that’s not true. I was a cheerleader last year and decided this year to do volleyball. You see, I’m like one of those I can do anything girls. It’s a weird system I have but it proves me. I may do cheerleading again next year. And this year I plan to try out for basketball. I also on Monday afternoons, Thursday nights, and Sunday afternoons I go to Taekwondo classes for an hour. I also do my homework at school so I have a whole lot of time on my hands.
If you couldn’t already tell I’m really into Steve. I hope he sees that at his party because of what I hear he likes me but doesn’t think I like him. Odd thing we’ve got going on. I just pray to God that Michelle can fit in with my group of friends. She actually seems like the girl that you’d want to be friends with. Well I guess it’s time for bed. As I close my eyes I remember the window. I rush out of my room to the hallway and I ran straight to the window. I looked down to see Michelle looking gloomy again in the living room. I lightly tapped on the window in fear of her father. She noticed me and smiled. And ran to her window and it looked like she was trying to open it. I tried opening mine at the same time I was looking at her and she already had hers open. I kept trying to open mine. She was laughing the whole time. Finally, I got mine open and I relaxed on it. She cocked her head and smiled. “So you really think people will accept me at his party” she asked. “Of course they will! Just remember, tomorrow come over and we’ll do our hair and makeup” I said excitedly. She nodded. I can’t remember too much after that, only that we must have talked for an hour about girl stuff. Then our conversation was broken when headlights from a car flashed passed us and into the drive way of Michelle’s. We locked eyes. “Got to go hide” she said. Without really thinking I said “Jump through the window and come over to my house” I said. She stared at me. “Come on hurry. Is he drunk” I asked. “Yes don’t worry” she replied. Michelle quickly hopped trough to window and ran to the edge of her house. We were both watching as her dad rambled on about stuff and slopped to the door. Once he opened it she ran to my door. I quickly pried myself from my window and ran down stairs. She was knocking on the door really hard. I raced to the door and threw it open. She was instantly beside me, our backs against the door. We were both breathing heavy. Michelle looked at me and we both started laughing.
My parents returned home late and I explained that Michelle’s dad was drunk and she was a little scared to be there and I asked if it was alright if she could stay the night. My parents are kind people and are very social and so they agreed. I told them that she could borrow extra stuff from me. After handing her an extra tooth brush, my traveling tooth paste, a brush, my cute Hollister pants, and a tank, she went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. It was about ten o’clock and even though it wasn’t a school night we were both ready to crash. She slept in my bed and I slept on the floor. There really wasn’t much to say to each other. It was probably midnight when I woke up to realize she was awake too. Michelle sat up straight while I leaned on my side facing her. “What are we going to do Michelle” I asked. She replied with “We?” and looked at my puzzled. “Well, yeah! We are now in this both and I have to tell you as a new friend that maybe it’s time you told someone. Particularly a counselor” I tried sounding confident. “You have a point but I still don’t see how this is going to help. Trust me I’ve lived with him forever. It’s harder than it looks” she said. “No trust me. I may be someone from the outside world, but from the outside there are people who you can trust and help. Yes it will take some work with some social workers but soon you’ll have a better life.” She smiled as if trying to sink that picture in. I knew that she really wasn’t listening though. “In time” she said. She fell back to a light sleep. After I was sure she was asleep, I relaxed and went to sleep too.I dreamt that night. It was Michelle and I. We were by a cliff. I was at least ten feet away from her. She spreading her arms towards the sky and was inches away from the edge. She seemed happy. I tried yelling for her but nothing came out. I put my arm out to her. She turned her head towards me and rolled her eyes. I could tell she was giggling at me. I didn’t understand. She spread out her arms again and took in a deep breath. Then, she fell. I screamed this time I could hear it. I ran to the edge hoping I could save her. What I saw next amazed me. She was gone. No body on the ground, nothing. I looked up a little confused to see her flying! I was in shock I couldn’t move, stop her, or speak. She just kept flying towards the sun. It left me breathless. I know what I was doing was making a difference, but in the end all that could really change things is if Michelle did something. I really wanted to save her. I just can’t give in to the push she gives me.
The next morning we woke at the same time thanks to my parent’s alarm. When we got down stairs my parents were making pancakes, orange cinnamon rolls, and eggs. They only do this for me when I have a sleep over or when it’s my birthday. I thanked them with a sneaky smile. They just kept cooking. I looked at Michelle. She had the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen. We sat at in the chairs wedged between the counter tops. We both were excited. My mom looking very excited herself sat down plates with huge portions of everything. Then, my dad plopped down two glasses of milk in front of us. Oh, it was delicious. Since the party started early at eleven o’clock and ended at three o’clock, we ate pretty fast so we could both prep for hours. When we were both done we put our dishes in the sink and thanked my parents. Then Michelle and I both ran up stairs with our bellies stuffed. I wondered how we’d look in our cloths after eating so much. We were neck to neck running up the stairs. Nose to nose. Michelle now in the lead turning the right corner and dashing to my room. But I stopped. There again in front of me was the window. I sparked a thought. Maybe he’s there in the living room. Maybe he knows she’s here. Could he get her? I walked slowly towards the window but was distracted by Michelle who popped in the hallway saying “I think I should straighten my hair and out bronzer on. What do you think?” I turned a little stunned. “Yeah whatever you want. Hey help me get ready” I said. We prepared for at least two hours. I was wearing a low-v metallic tank, dark jeans, and a sliver necklace with huge beads. She was wearing a black top with silver studs, and dark jeans. We both looked stunning. We were interrupted by my mother “Sweetie com downstairs we’ll be late”. So we raced down the stairs all excited. But I couldn’t push the feeling from me that something bad was going to happen.
Michelle my mom and I all got in the car. As she started the car I saw Michelle’s face drop. I knew she was having second thoughts. “Well were both taking a plunge buddy” I thought to myself.
Through My Window ©2008 Kayla Hammer's Blog
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Idk if this is a poem or not but it is something i enjoyed writing.
If it's possible that there is a true soul mate in this world for each and every one of us, then is it possible for us to find them again? I mean if you believe in all that stuff. But think about it. It's our soul mate. Shouldn't you find them again? Heaven, a new life, even if one partner is in hell and the other isn't? Or is it possible that you have more than one? Could it be that if you lead a different life you have a different soul mate? Like if you were a queen and somehow you fell in love with a general and you realize you couldn't live with out them and blah, blah, blah. Then in another life you are a simple farm boy who dreams of a bigger life in the city, and you fall in love with a wild-fun-party girl but has a great personality and so much more to offer. She is different then the general before yet you love her the same. You realize that she and you may be totally opposite but you fit and if you were separated from her you would die of emptiness. And yet, there will be children daily that die so young not even able to know, who their soul mate is while they are alive. So is it possible to love when you pass? It's the little things like these that shape the whole world. Whether in romance novels or in real life the question remains the same. Is it possible for everyone to find the soul mate?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Here we go! another 1
When you take off the mask, you'll be in for a surprise.
A different person lies behind those eyes.
The hero you knew is now the villian.
The dark deeds he's done has made him a demon.
Skeletons lye in his closet, which is a hard fact.
The worst thing he did was pull the staged act.
His past forever stained with greedy blood.
Heart surrounded in ice, fire, and mud.
Thick and unholy, defiance to the truth. He's guilty and he's afraid.
The devil now owns him with a firey hellish braid.
Runnway from him and don't look back!
But your past will catch up with you, scwirmming through the cracks.
-Behind it all- Kayla Hammer
plz u guys give me credit. and yes i did write this at 11! again!
A different person lies behind those eyes.
The hero you knew is now the villian.
The dark deeds he's done has made him a demon.
Skeletons lye in his closet, which is a hard fact.
The worst thing he did was pull the staged act.
His past forever stained with greedy blood.
Heart surrounded in ice, fire, and mud.
Thick and unholy, defiance to the truth. He's guilty and he's afraid.
The devil now owns him with a firey hellish braid.
Runnway from him and don't look back!
But your past will catch up with you, scwirmming through the cracks.
-Behind it all- Kayla Hammer
plz u guys give me credit. and yes i did write this at 11! again!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My fisrt post of my first poem on here.
If I die tomorrow where will I go?
A place where food always grows?
A place where I am loved, I don't have to hide?
Where the violence is gone? I'm not empty inside?
Is the family I couldn't see down here up there?
When I pass, will anyone really care?
If I die tomorrow, who will help people see,
how pittiful this earth can be?
If I Die Tomorrow...? - Kayla Hammer
All copyrights reserved. © 20o8 Kayla Hammer's blogg.
I hoped u guys liked it i typed it at 11 so give it some mercy.
A place where food always grows?
A place where I am loved, I don't have to hide?
Where the violence is gone? I'm not empty inside?
Is the family I couldn't see down here up there?
When I pass, will anyone really care?
If I die tomorrow, who will help people see,
how pittiful this earth can be?
If I Die Tomorrow...? - Kayla Hammer
All copyrights reserved. © 20o8 Kayla Hammer's blogg.
I hoped u guys liked it i typed it at 11 so give it some mercy.
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